You are not having sex


Reasons for not having sex

I guess you are not having sex, right? You are not alone. More than 50 million in America are in the same situation (having sex less than 10 times a years. In other words, a sexless life or relationship)

I am a regular middle-aged guy and really like my age. I love sex and sometimes miss the sexual drive of my 20s. Those days were pure passion, flooded with non-stop multiple orgasms.

Not today. Things are quite different. Time have changed me. But the good part of today is that sex is far much better. It’s more complete. We have a better connection with our couple. Less quantity, but much better quality.  A kind of good consolation prize.

The bad part is that we are not always ready for sex. Our brain and body are paying the price of age and the life we have. And the reasons for not having sex appear:

Pain and Aches

Aches and Pain disorders appear as we get older. After 40, if some part of your body doesn’t ache, means that you are death! Obviously, our sex life is affected. Fortunately, we have painkillers. But their side effects could worsen the situation. Even the contraceptives has the power of killing the libido because they alter the women hormonal balance.

Sometimes massages help. And if it’s an erotic massage, even better. Use this opportunity to explore new ways to approach your partner and have fun through tantra erotic massage to heal body pains.

Also, you can learn special massage techniques such as Yoni Massage.

Worries and Electromagnetic waves.

Oh yes, age and worries are Siamese twins. As we get older, the worries get bigger. Your kids, your money, your debts, your parents, your job, your friends, and we can go on and on. If you add to this all the electronic devices you bring to bed: tablets, phones, laptops that affect your circadian rhythm, I wonder how we can sleep at all! And sex? Only in your dreams…

So the mix of worries + bad sleep is the perfect recipe for the lack of desire, specially at night, when your physical strength is at minimum.

So changes schedules ! Have a morning sex. It’s the best way to begin the day. Wake up half an hour earlier and have fun! I know it’s difficult, but the effort really pays.

Nobody talks about it

Perhaps you are in the mood for a quickie. Perhaps your partner also. But neither you nor your partner say anything about it. Nobody asks: would you like to have sex? Or whatever question you ask in that situation. We choose the easiest way:  assuming that the other part doesn’t want. You presume she/he is tired and doesn’t want to know anything about it. So you fall asleep frustrated. And frustration affects the relationship. And you wake up in a bad mood.

The solution is so simple: You should ask, always! You have nothing to lose. If the other part says no, then you can say: ok, at least could you give me a hand?

External factors

Kids and electronic devices (phone, tablets, notebooks, TV). Another lethal formula for killing the libido. Turn off the devices ! Concentrate in your couple. Send the kids to the movies with some friends or family.

Do you know how much of your precious time will take to have a satisfactory sexual relation?

“How Long Should Sex Last?

In 2008 sex therapists from Canada and USA made a study about how much time should last the sex: “too short” lasts one to two minutes, “adequate” lasts three to seven minutes, and “desirable” is seven to 13 minutes and “too long” went from 10 to 30 minutes. Ok, if you turn off the cell phone for, let’s say, 13 minutes (“desirable” category) the world will not disappear, right?! So TURN OFF THE DAMN PHONE / TABLET / TV / NOTEBOOK / PLAYSTATION  AND FUCK WITH YOUR PARTNER!”

There are many others reasons that will affect the sexual connection with your partner, and frankly the better solution is to TALK. It is not easy, specially for us boys, but TO TALK is the only possible way the other person has to understand what’s going on.

So TALK with your partner and tell about your desires, frustrations, needs, problems, etc. The result will be a better sexual life. And better sex leads to a better overall relationship and better health. Regular sex cures all sort of illnesses and bad moods. As a result, we have a more fulfilled life.

Learn more about Yoni Massage here

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Vincent Winnfield
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